The busier we get the less chances I have to sit here and write these blogs. Right now we are in it, we are living life, we are making the memories, we are pushing ourselves to be better on a daily basis. Often times it may not seem that way because it's hard. What's the saying? If it were easy everyone would be doing it.
I watched this short video the other day about how AAU and travel sports are destroying families. Thoughts? I can definitely see it. Again, it's hard. However, it's a choice. A choice we make as parents for our kids, it is not a choice they get to make. That same choice has to be made about our marriages. Are we going to put forth the same effort as we would in getting our kids to every practice or every game or are we going to make the excuse that our partner understands we are busy and will be lacking.
Are the kids part of a marriage? Surely they are the most significant part of our family but do the efforts of parenting fall under the marriage umbrella? Let me know in the comments. In my marriage, parenting is definitely underneath that marriage umbrella. Let me explain why. If there was 2 qualities that my wife and I fell for about each other it was the other's parental qualities. I looked forward to the milf era. We made the decision to be parents knowing damn well these money-suckers would consume us.
Now hear me out! Just because we throw all our efforts into parenting, that does not mean we get to not be the wife or husband that the other deserves. Husband and daddy are not the same umbrella. Same tree, different branches. Balance, balance, balance. Mid-game of coaching, I expect the naughty texts from my wife. I can't speak for her expectations but I am sure when she is cooking with a kitchen full of kids with 100 questions, I'm sure the expectation is me to take over cooking but lets be a little realistic, I think she will settle for an ass slap, a hug and me to pour her a glass a wine if it's the right day for that.
The boys play 3 different sports right now and I am coaching 2 of those teams. The princess has not entered her sports chapters yet. Our family has not jumped into travel ball or AAU yet. Truthfully, I'd be happy if they never do. The 3 sports they play come with 1 or 2 1-hour practices each. Nothing crazy, in my opinion. It's a workout. Same with the games, 1 a week. We try to get them to make it more fun, than a necessity. 3 sports at once is an anomaly, typically it is just one sport, basketball.
In a round about way I am saying the busy schedules can definitely create walls, escalate emotions or even isolate emotions. For the Nicholson household this is life! Life does the same exact thing! So, choose your "life". Keep pushing! Stay focused on what matters. Hint: the games or teams are not the most important parts. Sports are so much bigger than the wins and loses.
With love,
Coach Nicholson
2 comments
I love you both and I love watching you two. Remember always, to love one another, take time to be a couple too and the kids mirror you! They have wonderful parents that are shaping them well in every aspect of their life. Thank you for allowing me to be a big part of their life and for letting me spoil them a little.
Could not have said it better how it works for our family.
I have seen the posts lately too about AAU (our algorithms are in sync I see). I believe that starting at such a young age could put a strain on families. Weekends committed to travel, eating out and days filled with nothing but sports, then throwing another kid or two into the mix could exhaust a family. Hence why we have not started that road yet and agreed I would be okay if we never did. BUT… I did play travel ball in late middle school and into high school. Some of my best memories from the sport comes from those tournaments and weekends with those teammates that were my best friends.
Truthfully I believe if we get them ready to play varsity sport and be the best going into high school our job has been accomplished. That is the biggest stage for most in regards to getting a scholarship.
Our kids are the most important thing to us, like most parents. Balancing is a struggle in this busy season with kids and a marriage. One thing that helps me is knowing Adam is my teammate. He is there to make my life easier if he can and vice verse. Having those unspoken “things” the other does is such a silent reassurance like alright we’ve got this. Like the fact that Adam hates dishes and does not have to touch them in our house. Or the fact that if I walk by Adam he better smack my butt or I’m like a sad puppy dog.
At the end of the day you chose what you want to do with your life. No one else does. Make it make sense for you. Make it work and have fun doing it. The minute it’s not fun anymore. Make a change.